So, here is the text I got this morning:
(555) 867-5309 Justin – Chuck
(288) 555-1234 Chuck – Yeah?
(555) 867-5309 Justin – What are you wearing?
(288) 555-1234 Chuck -The same thing as the last time you asked.
(555) 867-5309 Justin – Can you describe it to me?
(288) 555-1234 Chuck -Look, I gotta go
(555) 867-5309 Justin – No, don’t. Why haven’t you done the blog for last week?
(288) 555-1234 Chuck – I thought you were going to do it since you won the whole thing?!
(555) 867-5309 Justin – That’s not how it works. We each do the stage we placed best in.
(288) 555-1234 Chuck Hutcheson – Good luck getting Joe to do his!
So what does the song above have to do with this post? Absolutely nothing, I just like to play it while I read and write my blog posts.
Joe and I left the City of Sacramento around five thirty in the morning. My head hurt and he smelled still hungover, claimed he was wearing his trusty cologne, Black Panther. I asked “does it work”, he said it did and went on to tell me “sixty percent of the time, it works all the time”. With the ladies I assumed because his testosterone filled musk wasn’t doing anything for me.
We arrived and it was dry, but a line in the clouds threatened to make our day miserable. We were directed to park my 40mpg tiny Japanese car into a ditch that I was sure I would not be able to get back out of, especially if it rained.
I met some more teammates, Chris Lunning (who insists on misspelling his name as Kris), Keith Hiller and Justin Rossi. Nate Freed was also there. We had six guys, four other teams had five and a bunch had four our less. After several hours of coin flipping then paper, rock, scissors we had come up with a plan. Try and win the race.
Like all teams plans it was something like; communicate, have numbers in the break, don’t pee yourself till it rains. The normal stuff.
The official who could easily get a job as Santa in December gave us instruction and sent us off into an out and back headwind tailwind. Pretty damn close to the windiest race I have ever done. Since I had not trained that much during the week and I did not warm up, I figured the best thing to do from the gun was attack into the headwind – thereby training for the week, warming up and setting the mood for the race all in one swing before they would catch me.
After they caught me, there were attacks, counterattacks, countercounterattacks, countercounterattacks and so on. It was windy and it was nuts.
On the 2nd lap of three, what had been a head wind was now a cross wind and I found myself on the front with about three other guys drilling it. The field was beginning to string out and shatter. When I realized Justin and Kris, our two best time trialist were near the front I went to the front again and pulled so hard that the horizon was bouncing in rhythm with the bumps in the road. I was destroying myself. When I pulled off, Justin and Kris had made the split and we were well off the front with eight other guys. The group rotated and worked well together.
The only hiccup we had was when Kris was zigging when he should have been zagging and rode himself off the road in one of the turn around points. Much to the dismay of the rest of the break we convinced them to wait for him to catch back on.
Once Kris caught back on, the group started rotating again and Justin was taking the longest fastest pulls of anyone. In addition, there was a pretty fierce tail/cross wind so we were flying.. The group worked well together and when we were on the last lap all we had left was once out in the crazy head win and once back in the crazier tail wind. With about one mile left of the head wind I decided to attack and try and hold it with the tail wind to my back to the line after the turn around. Right after I went, the wind shifted, the temperature dropped and rain started pouring in buckets. It was nuts. With the change in wind direction that meant what I had planned on being a twelve mile cruise became a twelve mile slog. Ugh, lame.
What was good though was the distance we had on the pack at the turn around had more than doubled – and the remnants of the break I had just left were disappearing behind me. I thing the change in weather knocked the motivation from everyone, and all I could think about was going as hard as I could to keep my heat up and get back to the car. In the last few miles I could see this little speck of neon green behind me. I knew it was a team mate, and there was no one else behind him – so I waited. It was Justin. As soon as he caught we rotated to the finish.
As we came to the line he said “take this, your going to need the time bonus because Kris and I are going to make you look stupid in the time trial”. I responded “wow, this is the second time this has happened! Way better than than when I was on Harley back East and they sexed you in”. Justin was like “what?” . So we came in 1,2. Then Kris came in ahead of Alexander Yeh, who I have to say was ridding beast mode all day. The field came in around five minutes later.
Probably the best part of the weekend was that Joe Iannarelli finally shaved his legs. I’m not sure if you have ever seen his legs, but they were so hairy it took two sheep shears, six barber shavers and several packs of BIC disposable razors to get through the hair on his legs. Hopefully he plans on trimming about six inches off his chest, but his back is beyond repair.